Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Thoughts from SuperMom

{I'm writing this post in response to a friend's request for advice for her friend who is also going from three kids to five.  I feel ill-qualified to give advice...I'm just figuring it out as I go along...but here are some of my thoughts that I've had lately.  It's a little rambly, but that's how my brain works these days.}

I get called "SuperMom" a lot.  It's pretty funny, really, and it's all in perspective.  I get called "SuperMom" for getting through a door unassisted while carrying two baby seats, or for being out in public with my kids, or for doing any number of things for two babies at once (really, you just get used to it!)

Anyhow, the point is, it doesn't take much for people to say it.

Some days I feel like the name fits.  Not for getting through a door, but for not yelling at my kids when they've been particularly naughty.  Or for fixing a healthy dinner. Or for remembering to keep things in perspective, or to go to bed early, or for paying attention to a particular child's behavior and thinking about the WHY instead of just the WHAT.

I'm firmly convinced that "whom God calls, He qualifies." 
I was very concerned during my pregnancy that I would NOT be able to take care of five children.  I remember being on the verge of tears a time or two while confiding that fear to friends.  But you know what?  I'm as good (or as bad) of a Mom as I was with three.  We are no later (and sometimes less late) to church now than we were with one, two, or three children.  We do have to try harder to maintain our usual standard of tardiness, but we are able to manage it (most of the time).

{I will admit that I wouldn't have as much Super Mom success under my belt if it weren't for support from family and friends.  I like to think that I'm independent and strong, but it's been humbling to see that I need help so often...but I think being able to admit that is part of my "qualification."  When the neighbor offered to take my daughter to the bus stop each morning my first answer was no...and then I had to talk myself into accepting the offer, which has been a HUGE help to me, and probably not a huge sacrifice for her.}

I try to remember that most things that I worry about don't really matter.  A clean house doesn't matter when compared to getting enough sleep to be a better mom.  A few unhealthy meals when babies are little and you are in "survival mode" won't matter.  I've thrown out quite a few "ideals": I've had to do a lot of things with the twins that I never would have dreamed of with my other children. 

But it hasn't really mattered, honestly.  Right now I'm sitting in a messy house, overdue for a shower.  My kids went to bed happy, though, and I managed to get a healthy meal on the table (freezer cooking helps, when I'm organized enough to manage it!).  I even went grocery shopping!  Today I got through with a little bit of superness intact.

Some days I am not a Super Mom.  Some days I'm so tired that I drag myself through the day, yelling at my kids, hanging out on the couch while they make messes around me.  We eat whatever I can find at 5:59 p.m. (ok, lets be honest, sometimes it's well after 6:00), and it's lacking in veggies.  Some days there is at least one child crying at any given moment in the day (but not the same child all day), and my children fight with each other.  Some days I'm so frustrated that my husband has to suggest that I take a couple of minutes to walk around the neighborhood just to catch a breath.

My goal for now is to have more good days than bad ones.  That magical 6-month mark after having the twins has made it easier.  We are slowly able to pick up where we left off, and everyone is settling into the new routines and roles.  Many days are beautiful, and at the end of the day I have only thankfulness in my prayers.  Some days, still, end with prayers that are more along the lines of, "I know.  I'm sorry.  I'll try again tomorrow."  But it's ok, because I do keep trying.

DSCN7170 (640x480)
just because I don't want a picture-less post.  and because they are cute and this picture makes me laugh.


Denise said...

I like this :)

S.Ann said...

Great post. Very entertaining & insightful. Re:the picture...they seem so young to have such strong opinions!!

Jeanne Henderson said...

That picture is priceless :D

Annalia said...

I think any time you're still trying and loving your kids, you're being a Super Mom!...which I'm sure is most of the time for you!

nikko said...

Love the picture!

People say to me all the time, "I don't know how you do it (homeschool, having a traveling hubby, have five kids, whatever it is that they see as hard)" And I hate it because I think anyone can "do it".We're all a lot more capable than we give ourselves credit. You make your choices in life, or you deal with what God has dealt you, and you just do it. You just DO it. Because. Sure, we all have bad days and good days, but the point is, you just put one foot in front of the other.

Another phrase I detest is "You're such a good mom!" I know people mean well, and it's meant to be a compliment, but it bugs. Unless you're a like a drug addict who does horrible things to your kids, we're all good moms. And we all have different talents. So, if some mom takes gorgeous pictures of her kids or makes a picture perfect lunch box, or sews her kids clothes, we say "you're such a good mom". But really none of those things has anything to do with being a mom. I'd rather someone say "you're a good photographer" or "you're so talented in the kitchen" than equating those things with what a Good Mom does...

Sorry... end of rant...