NICU: week 1

Friday:
My progress was that I was able to get up and walk, rather than using a wheelchair.  I went down to the NICU a few times, and tried to rest.  I had the same nurse for Thursday and Friday: Sara.  She was my favorite out of my personal nurses.

I got pretty weepy in the evening--which would happen regardless of the situation since it's just the usual post-partum hormone shift.  It's happened every time I've had a baby, and thankfully I know that so I didn't get too worried about it, but of course it's still not fun.  I was mostly worried about my milk supply.  I would do my best to get something out, but my milk wasn't in yet and the best I could do was a few meager drops of colostrum, which the nurses would suck up into a small syringe.  I was pressured to supplement with formula because the IV's were hard on the babies.  After having pretty much NO choice about things thus far, I didn't want to give up the one choice that I had to keep things natural.  D had been fed formula without my consent, but they respected my choice and didn't feed any formula to E.

E was taken off the oxygen during the night, so she looked a lot better...but D's veins kept collapsing and her IV was put in her forehead, so she looked worse.

E

D

Saturday:

The ladies were moved to a new room (226) and had a new nurse this time-- Jennie.  She put the breastfeeding/formula/bottles all into a context that I could understand:  the sooner they gain weight and learn to eat, the sooner they go home.  She also predicted that they would be exclusively breastfeeding by 3 months, but they weren't going to progress on IV's, and it'd take a while to get my milk going.  I really liked Jennie, and though I was still super weepy, I chose to take her advice and allow formula and bottlefeeding.  By the end of the day they both had their IV's out and feeding tubes in.

This picture was taken before Judy's visit, so her flowers aren't shown, but they were very appreciated as well : )

I was feeling even better in the morning.   I had a lot of visitors.  My nephew and his new bride were having an open house that day, so people were down in the area for that and were able to stop by to see me and the babies as well.  Visitors were: Mike N., Laura & Randy, Judy with Kate & Emily, My parents, Dave, & the kids  all came by.  I looked very loved with lots of flowers on my table : )  It was really great to chat with everyone and show off my cute girls, but I got really worn out from going down to the NICU so many times and standing so much.  The last trip down I had to go back to using the wheelchair.  I was less weepy by the end of the day...though I would have liked to not ever use formula for any of my kids, I felt at peace with the decision.  Plus at the end of the day it felt like my milk was  beginning to come in a little.

Sunday:

Kangaroo Care

HH taking a picture : )

By Sunday I was spending most of my time down in the NICU.  I was discharged and moved my things down to the NICU room cupboard.  HH and I hung out in the NICU for a few hours and then went home in the evening.  It was weird to be home in a quiet, empty house.  I missed my kids, and it was strange to leave the hospital without any babies.  It was actually a hard evening to not have any kids home.  Plus my milk was in and I didn't have a pump for the night...I did my best to hand express, but by morning I was quite uncomfortable.

Monday:

My wonderful Aunt Diana drove me to the hospital in the mornings, since I wasn't able to drive yet.

Both babies had been borderline jaundiced, but by Monday they'd leveled out and the nurse said they didn't need to be checked again until Wednesday.  I ordered a breast pump rental to have at home, but there was a mixup in the delivery.  I found a hand pump in my kit from the hospital, and that made it better than Sunday night...but still not good.

Tuesday:
I found a difference between them!  E has a little hole (my sister called it a "dimple" and maybe that's a more accurate term) in front of her ear on one side.  It looks like a little piercing.  I have it too.  It's a pretty small difference, but it's something.  Before I got this posted, I discovered that D has it as well, just not as deep.  bummer.
No cell phone reception started driving me crazy.
Nighttime pumping was dreamy...I was soooooo grateful for a double electric pump!

Wednesday:
D & E's first 4th of July!
HH and I went to breakfast at the ward 4th of July social.  It was so nice to be out in public & doing something non-baby for a few minutes.  Then we headed over to the hospital.  HH went home to finish laying the carpet in the nursery : )  and I resumed my regular schedule: breastfeed, pump, Kangaroo Care, repeat.  Somewhere in there are potty breaks and snacks for me....
I had a great visit with Christine, one of Charlotte's associates, and she gave some great advice on pumping/increasing milk supply. 

D getting weighed before a meal. 
We've since stopped weighing before and after meals because the scale was too fickle.

D getting patriotic in the NICU.

sleepy E

The pinwheels were the centerpieces at the ward breakfast that morning.

HH and I finished out the day by going up to the 4th floor of the hospital to watch the fireworks on in the Sound.  It was a really great view, and certainly a unique way to celebrate the 4th during this unusual period of time.

My kids had spent all week at Grandma N's house (which I'm sure took a few years off of her life...it's not easy to keep up with three active little stinkers!) with a fun overnight at Aunt Judy's house.  They took it all in stride and didn't seem too bothered by the shuffling around.  Moose was a little homesick at times and missed his Mama & Daddy, but he did pretty well for a two year old.  It was fun that they got to be with cousins and such for the 4th of July.  Sounds like they loved getting to do sparklers : )

At the end of the first complete week:
My favorite NICU nurses were Jennie and Rebekah, who thankfully have been our nurses for a lot of the time.  I'll have to take a picture of them...I haven't done that yet.

I'm not noticing the smallness of the babies so much anymore.  They ARE small, but I'm used to it.  I change their diapers (they have NO bums) and dress them, and love to hold them.  My favorite part of the day is Kangaroo Care when I get to cuddle with them.

E.  Both girls like to eat their fingers and fists.

I was finally starting to see the swelling in my ankles and feet going away (it was from all of the saline that they pumped into me because of the c-section), and HOORAY, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight!  I had gained 20 pounds total, which is a miracle in and of itself (and 10 of that was baby, and probably the other 10 was placenta and fluids).

The Birth Day of Babies D & E (long and detailed)

From the start of week 33 I was VERY uncomfortable.  I was having a lot of ligament pain so that it was much harder to walk.  I stayed home from church and commented to HH that I might need to stay home for the rest of the pregnancy, I was that uncomfortable.

belly at 34 weeks.

I still had things to do, though.  So on Tuesday I decided that I was going to run errands with HH watching the kids at home.  Some of the errands were in connection with working on the nursery.  I had found out earlier that day that JoAnn's Fabrics was having a nursery contest that ended on Saturday...it was all about the homemade/handcrafted items in a nursery, which is totally up my alley.  I thought it would be fun to enter, but my nursery is FAR from done.  So I probably overdid it with running errands that night trying to get things that I needed for the nursery as well as other errands.  Seven stops in all, and by the last two I was riding the motorized cart through Lowes and the wheelchair through BabiesRUs.

I woke up the next morning (Wednesday) at about 2:00 a.m. feeling sore and crummy.  I woke up HH and cried and talked to him about having overdone it.  Then I went to take a bath.  After that I started having a lot of braxton-hicks contractions and TREMENDOUS pressure when I walked.  Like when I walked it felt like a constant contraction.  Enough that I called Sally, the nurse-midwife that was to help deliver the babies, and asked her questions about preterm labor and what kind of changes would occur if the babies came at 34 weeks.  She gave me some good information, and for the first time I felt like I could trust her to take good care of me.  And one thing she suggested was to have someone take care of the kids and for me to stay down.  She said that things might calm down if I stayed off my feet, but with the kind of pressure I was feeling there was a chance that my water could break just from walking, and then of course the babies would come no matter what.

So lay I did.  My aunt watched the kids--took them to swimming lessons and the museum--while I camped out sleeping and having some irregular light-but-slightly-increasing contractions.  It was horrible to walk still, so I only got up to hobble into the bathroom or to grab a bite to eat when needed.  I took several baths...I think four.

The last bath was late on Wednesday night...probably around midnight...and I noticed that my contractions were stronger and weren't stopping in the warm water.  I got out and went back to the couch and had three or four strong contractions that were 5 minutes apart, and I decided that it was time to be checked out to see if the contractions were causing any dilation, or if it was all just part of a crazy twin pregnancy with a crazy mama who overdid it with the shopping.

I called my Mom, who had just flown home from Ohio and was very sleep deprived, and asked her to come down to stay with the kids while we went to the hospital.  She'd be down in an hour.  I woke up HH, and I called Sally again.  She had said that if the babies came that early then it wouldn't really matter what hospital I chose...they'd be spending time in the NICU so I should choose the most convenient Hospital.  I opted for a close one, rather than the one that I'd planned on & where she could be with me.  But she also mentioned that even if I wasn't dilating they'd probably keep me there to keep an eye on the contractions.

I certainly didn't want to be admitted, and during the phone conversation the contractions slowed way down...I think I had two little ones during an almost 1/2 hour call.  So I decided that I was fine to wait.  When my Mom arrived I apologized and said that we were going to wait and see if things picked up.  She went in to sleep in the guest room.

I went to sleep, but would wake up for contractions strong enough to require "breathing"...I don't know how many I had because I kept falling asleep so it's a bit hazy, but when HH left for work at 3:45 I said that maybe he shouldn't go.  But I wasn't sure so he left.  I called about 20 minutes later hoping that he hadn't already met his carpool partner...but he had.  He said to just keep him posted.

At 5:00 I woke Mom up and said that I wanted to go be checked...just to know what was going on even if I wasn't in labor.  Maybe they could stop it if I wasn't very far along.  I called HH, but he couldn't leave for another hour (when replacements could take over what he was working on).  I called Charlotte, who was my midwife for all of the other kids & who had planned to come to this birth (more as a doula this time)...but she was quite sick.  She said that she'd send her assistant Cassandra.  I wasn't sure that I needed Cassandra, since I barely knew her so she probably wouldn't be reassuring for me, but I didn't say no to her coming.

It took some time to get the kids up and get my things gathered, and when I was up and about the contractions backed off.  Mom said that she thought it was false labor, and I admit that I had my doubts, but I still felt that it had been enough to warrant going to find out.  We left at 6 a.m. and got to the hospital at 6:30.  Cassandra met me at the front door and we went up to admitting.

In admitting I had several contractions, and Cassandra timed them (they were fairly close together and strong, but not long lasting).  Then we went to triage where I had to lay on a flat bed and I was super uncomfortable and it seemed like forever before someone came to help us.  Then they hooked up monitors-- babies were doing fine, and contractions showed up loud and clear.  Finally they checked my cervix and I was at an 8!

in triage (thankfully they put the bed up after a while!)

Then there was a big scuffle as nurses descended and they sent for the OB.  Baby B was back to being breech, and when the OB heard that she made it clear that she would not deliver the babies vaginally.  (The nurses told me that that OB was very unbending...more than any of the other doctors).  They tried to find another doctor to do the delivery vaginally, but there was no one available.

So then I had to decide about Baby A.  It was a hard decision for me...I knew that the OB just wanted to do a c-section and take them both out at the same time, but I was almost fully dilated and could have birthed A vaginally.  But then I'd be totally put to sleep for the birth of the second, or I'd have an epidural for the first (and I know lots of people love epidurals, but it kind of seems like a "whats the point" thing if you can't feel the birth at all....).  But anyhow, I decided to do the c-section for both, and the preparations began quickly as they took me to the operating room.
 

During this time Cassandra was vital.  She went back and forth to the waiting room to tell my Mom what was going on, she called HH to tell him to HIGH TAIL IT, and she counseled with me.  In the O.R. she took pictures, kept calling HH to find out where he was on the road, and was there as the person "on my side." (HH's laid back demeanor does not jive well with my quick birthing!!)

The fantastic Cassandra...she turned out to be so invaluable!!

Preparations went quickly--they wasted no time in getting me into surgery, and HH wasn't there in time.  Everything went smoothly, I guess.  I hated it, of course, but there weren't any complications.  I reminded them several times that they had to take baby A out first, because I knew them by name and A had "squatters rights" since she'd had her head down and ready (she was at 0 station when I was checked) for so long.  It's a good thing I said that, because when they made the incision baby B stuck her bum and foot out and seemed to want to come out first.  But they honored my wishes and took A out first, and then B.

baby B/ E

Baby B "felt that breathing was optional" as they put it, so she was put on oxygen.  A was stable and did great from the start.  I didn't get to hold either one (again, the OB was just a total party pooper). 

My first view of the babies. They did later bring baby A (D) over next to me to see her better.

HH arrived just after the birth, which was sad for both of us, but he got in just as the babies were being taken to the NICU, so he went with them-- which is one of the few things that I had in my birth plan that actually happened.

While they sewed me up I kind of freaked out because it felt like a weight on my chest and I had trouble breathing, and then I had a tickle and had a string of funny little coughs, and then I got nauseous and dry heaved into a bag but didn't actually throw up. Evidently that's just some of the fun stuff that goes with c-sections and epidurals.  So different from my previous post-birth thoughts and feelings.

The placenta.  Single placenta with two sacs and cords.  HH saw this picture and thought that it was gross, but I think it's interesting and not something that you see everyday, so I'm including it.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, WHY would you choose to have a c-section or epidural?  Both things were miserable.  I'm writing this almost a week later, and as bad as I thought they were at the time, it's only been compounded since then.  The good thing is that now when I say that I would rather have a non-medicated, vaginal birth (at home) I have something to compare it to--and I feel a lot stronger about it knowing the difference.

Anyhow, I'll get off my soapbox.  I still feel that the c-section was unnecessary...I'm sure I'd be a lot less harshly opinioned if it had been something that really needed to happen...as some are.

I was taken to recovery, where I mourned the death of my birth plan & expectations, but where we also celebrated my new little girls!  From now on "A" will be referred to as "D," and "B" will be referred to as "E."

D weighed 5 pounds 1 oz and was 17.5" long.

E weighed 4 pounds 8 oz and was 18.5" long.

When I was able to wiggle my knees and toes we went up to the NICU to see the babies, who were beautiful (though the oxygen mask was pretty serious looking).  I didn't get to hold them that time, but HH was watching over them.

I was REALLY drowsy after the surgery.  I know we went to see the girls, and I know that I went up to my room and was transferred to my bed, and then I think I must have slept because I can't remember much else.  A few hours later I got to try standing up and got in a wheelchair to go down to see the babies...and I may have stretched the truth about my level of dizziness...because when we got into the elevator I got nauseous and my nurse barely had enough time to get us back up to my floor and into the room for me to throw up into a bag. 

So then I had to wait a couple more hours before I could go down and see the babies. 
I got to hold D.
 

This was the closest that I could get to E because of the wheelchair.

Later my Mom, sister Judy, HH, and the kids all came to visit. 

Chick loved pushing me in the wheelchair.

Opening presents from the babies.  I don't remember which present came from which baby, but the older kids got "A Baby Sister for Frances" and a DVD of "The Parent Trap."

E looking pensive.  Perhaps shes wondering why no one was holding her....

And that is what happened on the birth day of D & E.

Father's Day?

I knew that Father's Day was coming up.  No, really I did.  I bought a t-shirt to decorate with the kids probably two weeks in advance. 

But I know I've mentioned this before, and I'll say it again: I have pregnancy brain.  These darn babies are taking EVERYTHING I've got, apparently...including my brainpower.

So I forget things.  Like Father's day.  Not entirely, mind you...it did keep popping back in.  Unfortunately intermittently. On the Sunday before FD they announced it in church, and I audibly gasped.  Really?!  How did it sneak up on me?

Two days before the day I remembered again...and I had to apologize to HH, because I doubted that I could get his gift done in time.  His reply was so great:

"Paige, how long does it take to make root beer floats?  Seriously, it shouldn't take a week of preparing."


ahhh, I love that guy.

And then on Saturday I gave him my debit card so that he could take the kids to the grocery store and buy the root beer and ice cream, because I'm super nice like that.  And I'd planned to make him a dinner that I know he likes a lot, but I forgot to put a key ingredient on his shopping list ; )  and so we just had a last minute thrown together meal.  Happy Father's Day, indeed.

He fared better than my Dad, though-- I couldn't call when I remembered to do so, and forgot at all the right times.  He got a belated phone call the next morning.

Which was my MIL's birthday, who I also forgot to call!  (but don't worry, Mama J: now you'll get you belated Mother's day gift AND your belated birthday gift...I'm just prolonging the anticipation.  Maybe you can just pick them up off my kitchen counter when you come up to meet the new grandbabies later this summer?)

And that, my friends, is how we roll these days.  I'm totally going to stick with blaming D & E
{who at this moment are trying to break free from my belly and it looks like I have an alien (or vampire?) inside me.  I love that...as long as they don't REALLY break free}.

(BTW, I saw yesterday where someone named her new twin girls Andromeda & Persephone.  I might have spelled them wrong, but I'm sure I won't be the only one.)

The most current stats and projects

Last week I had four appointments in three days.  At 32 weeks, here's what I learned:

Ultrasound:
Both babies are doing fine. 
They have similar fluid levels. 
They measure 4#3oz and 4#5oz, which is right on track. 
Baby E is now head down, which was a big surprise to me.
No signs of preterm labor.

Appt with Nurse-Midwife Sally:
I've gained about 15 pounds thus far.
My measurement was 42.  I might have gotten that big with Moose, since he was a big boy and he went overdue by 9 days...but I'm getting into uncharted measurements.
Blood pressure is still healthy, but up a little bit from my normal.
Sally thinks I'll probably go until 38 weeks or so, but is hopeful that the babies will be upper 6 pounds, rather than over 7 pounds because sometimes when the uterus gets that big then it's so stretched out and doesn't work quite right during labor...it kinda gets freaked out.
I turned in my birth plan, which she went over.  Every single thing on there got a response like, "Yes, that's good/reasonable/understandable...BUT"  and then she'd explain what could go wrong and why they might toss out the birth plan and do some other horrible sounding thing.  I KNOW things might not go according to my ideal...I don't need to be told about it with each visit so that I leave feeling worried about things that aren't now and may not ever be a real concern.

Hospital Tour:
Everyone else on the tour was having their first baby.  Then there was HH and I with our three kids and expecting twins and having never been in the hospital.  I bet the other soon-to-be-parents were glad to only have ONE upcoming child.
The hospital looks nice enough, and the birth suite was comfy.  Too bad I won't get to deliver there...the O.R. didn't look nearly as soothing.

My first NST:
I'm sure they serve a good purpose, but it felt like a waste of time. But the babies passed, and were pretty good about letting their heartrates be found.
I'll have these weekly...the only scheduling for twins is during the weekday, and it takes about 2 hours...which means that I can't have my husband home to stay with the kids and I can't take them with me.  So it may be a "non-stress" for the babies, but definitely a "stress" for me.

Other:
We went down to Seattle yesterday for my sister's graduation from Bastyr (way to go, Laura!) and there was traffic at 12:30...so maybe I should just plan on traffic no matter what time I start labor.

HH and I have been working on the nursery: 
He installed a new light fixture
HH is working on repainting (he'd used flat paint when he did it last time and I can already tell that it'll be a horrible mess within days of people actually using the room...so I lovingly and certainly not naggingly asked him to redo it all in a better finish.
I painted the closet door trim, the back of the bedroom door, and the bedroom door trim in the coral pink of the striped wall.
HH rehung the door, using new black hinges and doorknob.
I refinished the dresser (which turned out so great and I can't wait to show you!), the frames, a little shelf, and a little thing with hooks on it.
I printed out a picture of the Salt Lake Temple that I found for free online.  Before printing I altered some of the colors so that they match the coral better.
Pictures will be forthcoming, but first the painting has to be finished and carpet needs to go in...then I can start moving things in and getting situated.

This week is a sewing week (as soon as I get off the couch): 
A couple of alterations of things that SHOULD fit me until the end (including a little cotton dress for the birth and the most fantastic maxi-dress that my sister Judy helped me to pin to shorten in the back...I might just wear it every Sunday from here on out...maybe even every other day too, since it is awfully comfortable),
mending,
crib sheets, bumper, ruffle crib skirt
rocking chair cushion and ruffled pillow
diaper stacker
ruffle curtains
blessing dresses (yeah, they still aren't finished)

I don't know how much of that will actually get done, but that's the focus for the week...and thankfully I don't have much scheduled this week so maybe I will actually do some of it.

A Post about Moose

Moose recently turned terrible.  I mean two. 
But both apply sometimes.
Sometimes he's the cutest little thing and is sweet and cuddly and clever.  Unless he wants something to go a certain way and it's not happening.  Then he's a pro at throwing tantrums and getting aggressive.  He's been like that for most of his life, though, so it has nothing to do with his age.

But I digress.  He had a birthday.  I thought it would be fun to take the kids to the Rainforest Cafe, which is down by where HH works.  So we picked Daddy up from work and went out for a super fun dinner.  The kids loved it just as much as I'd hoped.

We were right by the Gorillas.  I thought I'd gotten a video of the gorillas when they were moving, but when I got everything off my camera there weren't any videos.  Bummer. 

The kids also really loved the alligator.

After that we went home and Moose opened his presents (he got a magnetic train set from my Aunt, and a mixer truck from my parents, a hard hat & book from his sisters, and a tool set from HH and me).

Then we sang, and relit the candles three times trying to get a picture before he blew them out.  Seriously, as soon as the cake was anywhere near him he'd blow them out. 

The cake isn't the greatest, but it was pretty much the easiest, and the kids liked it.  And it still tasted good.  We didn't eat it that day--the kids shared Moose's dessert at the restaurant, and we got home too late for anything more anyhow.

At any rate, it was a good day. Even if he's a total stinker a lot of the time I am SO glad to have that little boy in our family.  He is all boy, and it looks like that's what we'll need : )

    

A Post about Monkey

For her birthday, Monkey was given gymnasics classes.  I'd bought a Living Social deal for 4 classes at a local gym.  I "upgraded" to 5 weeks because this session has 5 weeks instead of 4. 

Anyhoo, she's done great.  She has so much fun when she goes, and for the rest of the week she says things like, "I can't wait to go to gymnastics class!"  Which makes me feel bad that we only have one week left.  But such is life.

She's in a class with 3 little boys.  No other girls.  She doesn't care, though.

Here is a little video of my little Monkey : )  It has been such a pleasure to watch that sweet little thing having so much fun and learning new things.

Quick post about baby prep

K, so I'm totally supposed to be working on this month's layout...I neglect my blog all month but as soon as I'm supposed to be doing layout I swear my blog calls me like a siren song.
Anyhow, last weekend all three of the kids went to my parents' house and I worked on baby stuff:  I mostly got the hospital bag packed, I revised the birth plan, I spray painted the rocking chair for the nursery, I washed/folded/organized the baby clothes, and I cleaned my house.  It was fabulous. {Sadly the house cleaning was undone within 24 hours of the kids' return}
This week I've worked on getting a few more things into the hospital bag, gotten the cleaned covers back on the infant seats & got them into the minivan (just typing that word makes me feel like I've "arrived" as a mom, lol).  I hung two new picture frames in the hallway (and repositioned the existing three frames to accomodate the new ones). 
And today my sister and my Mom came to help.  My Mom watched the kids while my sister, Judy, and I painted stripes on one of the walls in the nursery.  My sister also moved the lockers out of the nursery & into the spare room, and the dresser out of the spare room & into the living room (it needs refinished before it can go into the nursery).  Here's a picture of the wall, though I'm going to be adding black scroll squigglies on the edges of the stripes so it's not the finished product.  The rocking chair is also there, but I'll be distressing the edges a bit, so that's not the finished product either (but won't it be cute with a little coral-pink cushion?!!).

Also today, I burned the labor CD.  Here's the playlist:

Canon in D {Pachelbel}

Make you Feel my Love {Adele}

Dream a Little Dream of Me {The Mamas & The Papas}

Ode to Joy {Beethoven}

What a Wonderful World {Louis Armstrong}

Let it Be Me {The Everly Brothers}

Stand By Me {Ben E. King}

Turandot: Nessun Dorma {Pavarotti}

La Vie En Rose {Louis Armstrong}

Stai Con Me {Raf}

(it's possible that I'll just have Canon in D on repeat...I've listened to it repeating for labor before...soothing and somewhat trance-like because it's so repetitive)

I'm hoping that having done the daunting striped wall (which wasn't nearly as bad as I'd expected, but that's probably because my sister did most of the work) it'll help me have momentum to do the other little painting things in there & then get busy on sewing the crib bedding/curtains/etc etc etc.

Today I'm 31 weeks  (so somewhere between 5-9 weeks left, hopefully).  I'm happy to have had such a relatively healthy pregnancy thus far...but I always feel like bedrest or preterm labor is looming.  I hope not, because I still have so much to do.  I'm trying to get the essentials done first: like the birth plan & hospital bag.  If the nursery doesn't get done it won't be the end of the world, since the babies will be in our room for a while anyhow.  Though, of course, having the nursery all done and pretty would be nice.